I Thank God I Miss You
by Rainnboots
Summary: "Though it's nothing you haven't heard before, I mean it more today. Believe me when I say: I thank God I miss you." -Ben Rector. Kendall tucks Jo into bed every night, and this time he does it with a song.


**Author's Note:** This story's been sitting in my archives for a little over a week now, and today I decided to finish it up. It came to mind while listening to the song "I Thank God I Miss You" by Ben Rector, and that's also where the story got its name. I felt it suited these two characters pretty well at the moment. Enjoy! And as always, **_PLEASE REVIEW!_**

**Disclaimer: **Any recognizable names, lyrics, and/or places are the property of their respective owners.

**Warnings: **None.

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><p>Kendall was jolted awake, his entire body jerking as it was pulled from sleep. He lay still for a moment, frustrated and somewhat disoriented by having been woken up. Another moment passed before the sound of ringing reached his ears; a cell phone.<p>

His cell phone.

Kendall immediately rolled over, groping around his bedside table for a moment before getting his fingers around the small device. He pushed the ON button, holding it to his ear.

"'Lo?" Kendall cleared his throat. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kendall."

Kendall smiled, letting his head rest back on the pillow. "Hey, Jo."

"Did I wake you?"

"No, no, it's good," said Kendall, wiping his eyes. "It's not that early."

"How are you? How's the band, and the guys?" Jo asked.

"We're great," said Kendall. "Gustavo's working us into the ground with this new album, but we've got three tracks cut so far."

"Already?"

"Yep; I'll try and smuggle a copy out of the studio for you," said Kendall. "But enough about me; how're you?"

"Exhausted," Jo sighed. "This week's been crazy."

"Why was it crazy?"

"Our shooting schedule is just all out of whack. We've been travelling up and down the coast everyday trying to get all these different shots done, and it's driving me insane! I wish we could stay in one place for more than a few hours. I'm starting to hate riding in cars."

Kendall laughed, sitting up in bed and running a hand through his hair. "Tell me more about the movie; how's it going?"

"Good," said Jo. "We're about half-way done, I think, barring no re-shoots. Fingers crossed for no re-shoots..."

Kendall leaned back against his headboard, closing his eyes as he listened to her speak, trying to imagine she was sitting beside him instead of six thousand miles away.

"...but I won't even go into that right now," Jo said, sounding almost exasperated. "Aside from all that, though, it's been pretty calm. As far as movie shoots go, anyway."

"So you like it?"

"I love it."

"But...?" said Kendall, sensing a hesitation in her voice.

Jo sighed. "New Zealand's beautiful, it is, but it's hard being so far away from everyone. I miss LA, and the Palm Woods, all my friends and family... I miss you."

"I miss you too," Kendall said, smoothing his hand over the sheets. "But you'll be home around Thanksgiving, right?"

"About that..." Jo began.

"Christmas?" he said hopefully.

"I honestly don't know when I'll get a break, Kendall," said Jo. "Since we're shooting three movies, they want to do them all back-to-back—"

"Don't worry about it," said Kendall, shaking his head, trying to keep his voice light.

"I'm sorry."

"I know how busy you are; it's alright, Jo," said Kendall. "We'll see each other soon enough, right?"

Jo let out a breath. "Right."

Kendall, eager to change the subject, glanced at the clock on his nightstand. "According to my calculations, it's nearly midnight over there. What are you doing up so late, missy?"

"I can't sleep," Jo explained.

"Something bothering you?"

"No, I just... can't sleep," Jo shrugged. "I've been laying in bed for almost an hour and I'm wide awake."

"You want me to sing to you?" asked Kendall, knowing she did, but wouldn't ask outright.

"Yes, please," Jo said quickly. Kendall smiled.

"What song do you want to hear?"

"Surprise me."

Kendall sucked in his lip, scratching his forehead as he thought. His eyes caught his guitar propped up in the corner, and he was struck with an idea.

"Hold on just a second, Jo," he said, setting his phone back on his nightstand. He grabbed his guitar then plopped back down on the floor beside his bed, reaching to turn his phone on speaker.

"Can you hear me?" he asked, leaning his mouth towards the speaker.

"Yep," said Jo, her voice spilling out into the room.

"Can you still hear me while I'm playing?" Kendall asked, raising his voice slightly as he strummed out a few chords.

"I can still hear you," Jo assured him.

"Alright." Kendall licked his lips, clearing his throat once as he glanced down at the guitar. He positioned his fingers on the frets, then began to play.

"_Sometimes I feel these words are cheapened by the way they're said; we do not mean them_," Kendall sang. "_From a million miles away, words are all I know how to say, so I am speaking to you right now._

"_Just know I wrote this song with all the words meaning what they mean, and saying what they say. Though it's nothing you haven't heard before, I mean it more today. Believe me when I say: I thank God I miss you. I thank God I miss you._"

Kendall shut his eyes as he sang, his stomach aching as he thought on the distance between himself and Jo, how much time had passed since he had last seen her, how long it would be until they were together again. His entire being longed to be beside her again, to hold her close and know she was near. Pushing the painful thoughts aside, he continued singing.

"_From a hotel room and misunderstandings, my heart stands still and demands this candor. Though my hands shakes, I remain unshaken. For the part that's grounded, is oh-so taken, and that's the way that it should be. So know I wrote this song with all the words with all the words meaning what they mean, and saying what they say. Though it's nothing you haven't heard before, I mean it more today. Believe me when I say: I thank God I miss you. I thank God I miss you._"

Kendall let out a low breath, wiping his palms on his knees and setting the guitar aside. He took the phone off speaker, bringing it back to his ear.

"Jo?" he said.

"Y-Yeah?" Jo asked, sniffing loudly.

"Are you crying?" Kendall asked quickly, panicked.

"No, no, I'm fine," said Jo. She sniffed again, sighing. "A little bit. I just miss you so much."

Kendall brought his knees up, resting his elbow over them and reaching his hand back to grip his shoulder, letting his forehead touch the crook of his arm.

"God, I miss you, too," he said, his voice sad, almost hollow. "I miss seeing your face, and touching your skin, and laying next to you on a blanket at the park. I miss kissing you, and getting to hold you in my arms, even just knowing your in the same room as me..." Kendall closed his eyes. He could hear Jo sniffling again, and he wiped his own eyes, pulling his head up. "But let's not think about that, okay? We still talk to each other every day, and seeing you on FaceTalk is almost as good as having you here with me, right?"

"Mm-hmm," said Jo, unconvincingly. Kendall sighed.

"Don't be sad, Jo, please?" said Kendall. "I hate when you're sad."

Jo smiled weakly. "I wouldn't be sad if we were so far apart."

"We've been apart before," said Kendall. "Like I went on tour last summer."

"Yeah, but that was three weeks, Kendall. This is _three years._"

"I know, but we're not always going to be together one hundred percent of the time. We both have careers, and there're going to take us all over the world. I know it's hard, but we've talked about this. We promised we wouldn't let our feelings get in the way of each other's dreams, remember? I don't want to distract you like this, Jo."

"I can't help it!" Jo said suddenly. Kendall was taken aback by the outburst, and his stomach dropped knowing she was in pain.

"It just hurts so much not having you here," Jo said, her voice quiet again. "I don't know if this movie is worth being away from you for so long."

"Jo, no," said Kendall sternly. "This is your big break. These movies are going to make you the star you've always wanted to be."

"What good is being a super famous if I can't be with you?"

"Big Time Rush is doing pretty well for ourselves, thank you very much," said Kendall. "I'm sure we'll end up stopping in New Zealand at some point on our world tour."

"You're going on a world tour?"

"Well, it's not planned yet, but it'll happen soon enough. BTR's going global, baby." The corners of Kendall's lips pulled up in a satisfied smirk as he heard Jo snort. "You're smiling, aren't you? You are; I can hear it."

"You're an idiot."

Kendall laughed, pushing a hand through his hair. He checked the clock again; almost thirty minutes had passed.

"So I should probably get to bed..." Jo trailed off.

"Yeah, yeah," said Kendall. "Me too."

"Thanks for singing to me," said Jo.

"Of course," said Kendall, smiling.

"I'll call you tomorrow."

"Can't wait to hear your voice again," said Kendall. He heard her smile again; he wished he could see it. Jo was so beautiful when she smiled.

"Goodnight, Kendall," she said.

Kendall could feel the words suddenly bubbling up in his chest, almost like a cry, but much more powerful, so much more meaningful. Words that he'd kept inside for so long, afraid to speak them. He tried to hold it back again but before he knew it the words were spilling out.

"I love you."

The words surprised Kendall himself, but he continued on, afraid he would never get another chance to explain himself if he didn't do it now. "I-I-I know it's kind of lame to tell you that for the first time over the phone, and I really didn't want to, but I didn't know how to tell you before because I don't think I realized just how much you really meant to me until you were leaving and I was faced with losing you but I was still too scared to tell you when you were because I've never told anyone that before and—" Kendall broke off, taking a breath. "I love you, Jo. I love your hair and your eyes and the way you talk and the way you laugh and how perfectly your hands fit in mine and how amazing it feels when you touch me and how I get butterflies in my stomach everytime we kiss and Jo I just love your _everything_."

There was silence on the other end, and Kendall felt panic rush over him, tears threatening to flood his eyes. What if she didn't feel the same way? What if he scared her by saying it too soon? What if she hung up and he never got to hear her voice again? This is exactly why he was afraid to tell her while she was still—

"I love you, too."

Kendall's breath caught. Now he was sure he was going to cry; tears of relief pricked his eyes, a complete and utter joy coursing through his veins, storming in his brain. She loved him. She _loved_ him and she _said so._ People had told him "I love you" before, sure. His parents, his sister, the guys; but of course they loved each other. They had too. They were family. But Jo wasn't family; she was someone who'd come into his life and chose to stay there and chose to love him and _chose him._

Kendall was sure there was no greater feeling in life than this.

"You do?" he choked.

"Y-Yeah, I do. A lot."

Kendall bit his lip, resting his head back against the bed, the curve of his neck hitting the edge of the mattress, the top of his phone scraping the sheets. He placed his hand over his eyes.

"I love you," he said.

Jo laughed; a melodic bell of a sound, one that made Kendall's stomach flip everytime he heard it. "I love you, too."

"So much."

"So much," she whispered in agreement.

Kendall ran a hand through his hair and they spent a few moments in silence, the way the used to when they were together, simply enjoying each other's presence.

"Kendall?"

"Yes?"

"Could you sing me that song again?"

Kendall smiled. "As many time as you want me to."

Kendall set the phone down and picked up the guitar, playing through the song four more times before finally stopping. He set his guitar aside and curled and uncurled his fingers, massaging his right thumb thumb into his right palm to ward off the cramp that came from playing in the same position for so long. He leaned towards the phone.

"Jo?" he whispered. "You awake?"

When he got no response, he smiled softly. She'd fallen asleep.

"Goodnight, Jo," he whispered. He smiled, feeling an extra flutter in his his heart as he whispered, "_I love you._"

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><p>Reviews? Anyone? Anyone? ...Bueller?<p> 


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